A Test
by PixieKayGirl
Summary: My take on that essential missing scene in The Nanny, between Niles quitting and CC leaving, and Niles and CC being found in bed together. (There are a million of them, but there were some nuances of their entire past together that I never found in other versions and wanted to include.)


Niles waited until the family was in bed before he crept down to the kitchen for a snack. He couldn't sleep. He'd just lost - no, he'd quit - his job, after losing the woman he'd loved for longer than he'd be willing to admit to it. Part of him wished he'd never listened to Fran and told CC how he felt, but it was better that it was all out in the open. The logical part of him could reason that the heartbreak would subside over time and it was better than always wondering, even if the greater part of him was busy trying to eat his feelings.

He dug a spoon into the carton of ice cream, resting his other hand lightly on his mug of tea as though drawing comfort from the warmth. Vaguely, peripherally, he knew that the door to his left opened and closed, but somehow he didn't register it enough to acknowledge. It didn't occur to him that someone was in the room with him until the familiar perfume wafted toward him, and then he chose not to turn. Why had she even bothered to come back? Surely they couldn't have anything left to say.

After several moments of silence, she finally spoke. "I remember."

He took another bite of ice cream, savoring it slowly, then warming his tongue with a chaser of tea, before he dared ask, "Remember what?"

He heard a single step come toward him, but didn't turn around.

"I remember the kiss that we never talked about. The one that we were both drunk for, but perhaps not as much as you thought. At least, I wasn't."

He raised an eyebrow, still not looking at her. "You weren't?"

"Oh, come on, Niles, how long have you known me? Of anything you've ever made fun of me for, the drinking is the most accurate. I wasn't even drunk enough to accidentally mess up Nanny Fine's name - I did it on purpose so no one would think I would actually kiss you without some serious chemical influence going on."

He continued eating. What could she possibly expect him to say to that? He, king of the zingers, had no reply.

He heard another step toward him. The distance from door to table wasn't far. She couldn't keep doing that for long.

"I remember the cruise."

"Which cruise?"

"The one where you kept winning at the casino if I was with you."

"What about it?"

"I remember how you made my heart skip a beat."

"What, when I asked if you were a good witch or a bad witch?"

He heard another step, directly behind him. "No. When you called me your baby. Kissed my hand repeatedly and called me beautiful. I knew it was only to butter me up to stand by you because you were convinced I was your good luck charm. You couldn't have known the effect you were having on me. But you were. And I remember."

He ate another bite of ice cream, vaguely contemplating what it would taste like dropped into the tea like a float. "Buttering you up was a good excuse to say things I'd always wanted to say but never thought I could."

She slipped into the chair next to him. He saw her in the edge of his vision, but still wouldn't turn to look directly at her.

"I remember Atlantic City. When you thought I had your wallet, and I thought you were . . . were . . . ."

Niles closed his eyes in shame. "When my addiction to gambling led to my missing out on an opportunity that might have resolved all of this a lot sooner. When I was looking for my wallet and you thought I was propositioning you."

CC sighed. "I was so embarrassed for how I responded, Niles. Do you understand that? Maybe more than if you had deliberately been playing a prank. There's always been that flow to our insults and pranks. And I'd always thought you were as interested in me as I was in you. But then it turned out we weren't even talking about the same thing, and I was so embarrassed."

It was the shame in her voice that made Niles finally turn to look her in the eye. "That? Out of all the pranks, all the insults, everything, _that_ is what made you feel like this?"

"I . . . it was like a slap in the face. Like you'd set me up. Even though you didn't seem to know what had actually been going on, it was like you'd set me up to admit to my feelings, then left me hanging. And I was mortified, not with you, but with myself for being so ready to agree. I, a Babcock, so ready to . . . to sleep with . . . ."

"With a _servant._" He spit the word out, not with his own contempt, but with the contempt she'd repeatedly shown to feel toward that word and every synonym for it she'd ever found or invented.

She nodded. "And then I started remembering other things. Our accidental kiss, when you asked if it was as bad for me as it was for you. Every time you'd insulted my appearance. Every time you'd caused me actual bodily harm."

Niles turned away, shoulders slumped. "I know. Trust me, I know. Ever since you left I've been mentally reviewing every reason you have to hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

"I don't. I . . . Niles, honestly, until our last . . . conversation . . . at the bottom of the stairs earlier, I honestly thought you were joking. It felt very much like Atlantic City all over again. I thought it was a set-up. We were in public every time, or at least in front of other people. I honestly never expected that you . . . that you were really . . . ."

"That I love you."

He heard her breath catch slightly at his words. Her voice came out a little huskier as she said, "Well, you certainly never mentioned it, even when you proposed."

He sighed, then got up to put the ice cream away and wash his mug. Moving would make this talk easier. "Miss Babcock-"

"CC."

He snapped his eyes toward her, still sitting at the table, for just a moment, then resumed his activity. "CC. Look, I never actually . . . intended . . . to propose. I'm sorry for that. It's just . . . do you know how much you overwhelm me? I mean, why do you think I'm always throwing barbs and jabs and zingers at you?"

"Because you're witty and intelligent and capable of coming up with responses at a rapid rate?"

He paused to look at her, hands and mug resting under the running water. "You see me that way?"

"I'm not stupid, Niles. I know who you are."

He looked back to the mug, trying to look nonchalant. "It's just . . . all those years of you chasing Mr. Sheffield. You only seemed to care about him."

"I cared about a suitable match. My family raised me to believe that meant matching in wealth and status."

"I know." He wiped the mug dry and put it in the cupboard. "And that's why you can never be with me."

"That's why they never want me with you," she corrected, and as he turned from the cupboard he realized she was at his side. "I can't just . . . it's not that I can't be with you _ever_, Niles, it's just . . . do you understand how much drama my family will cause over this?"

"But does that matter when-" He cut himself off. "Did you just say 'will'? As in, this is a 'this' that _will_ happen?"

She smiled slightly but continued talking as though he hadn't interrupted. "I mean, my father will probably be okay. Noel will certainly be okay. It's my mother and sister who _will_ be particularly difficult." At her emphasis, Niles lips, slightly upturned into an expression of hope, broke into a full smile. "But," she continued, "their drama won't stop me _if _we're sure this will work out. Which means we have to test it out _without_ everyone else knowing about it."

"Test, as in . . . ?"

Almost before he realized what she was doing, she'd leaned in to kiss him. But it didn't take long for him to catch up and respond in kind.

After what could have been seconds or minutes or hours (he peeked one eye open to the clock - it had been most of a minute) CC pulled back just far enough to whisper, "Test, as in, can we go to your room now?"


End file.
